It’s your first time away from home, and I’m pretty sure there are some mixed feelings; excitement and sadness all wrapped in a bow of apprehension. You probably won’t see your family and close friends as often as if you were at home, but there are so many new people to meet at college, that the idea of a new start excites you. This is all normal. You should want to meet nice people, have caring professors, great food, and hot showers, especially if this is where you will be living for the next four years.
Move- In Day Has Arrived….
This was a very emotional day, at least for me it was. No, I did not break down and cry, but I felt like that day was a huge step into my adulthood. For some, move- in day is easy, especially if they have attended a boarding school before. If that is the case for you, then you’re a step ahead, and that’s great! Overall, the day can be summed up as hectic! Bags and suitcases going to various floors, cars lined up bumper to bumper, and parents saying their last goodbyes or speeches. While you’re moving your stuff in, so is another person… your roommate! Most likely this is your first encounter and it can be an awkward moment. Already, you notice that there is tons of stuff and no where to put it, and here this person comes with nine suitcases and tons of shoes. Don’t be the first to judge! Introduce yourself politely with a warm smile; who knows, they may be more nervous and scared than you are! Once you and your roommate are moved in, it is time that you get down to business…..
Contracts, Deals and Negotiations….
It is important that you and your roommate sit down and draw out some rules (other than the ones provided by the school) so that the both of you can live in the space peacefully and respectfully. You don’t have to be a tough ass, but you should be direct and clear of the rules you care about. Some topics that can be brought up in the conversation are:· Property and use of property: Do you feel comfortable sharing your stuff? (Food, clothes, electronics, etc.) If you do agree to share your things, what are the terms and conditions?
*Be mindful that if someone shares with you, it would be nice to be as generous. This is a relationship which involves giving and taking 50/50*
· Room maintenance: Although your roommate is entitled to their side of the room, should there be some agreement regarding dirty laundry/dishes and garbage?
· Visitors: Are you okay with friends staying over? If not, at what time should visitors leave the room? When do you expect the room to be quiet? Are they responsible for their visitors? Discuss class schedules, so that it is more about the respect for your academics rather than coming off as demanding.
*This may require extreme negotiation, since not everyone’s schedule is the same. Try to be as reasonable as possible, and make sure you are being as open to ideas as possible.*
· Sex: It happens, so there should be some discussion about it. What may work best is to request the room ahead of time; therefore your roommate is informed. They will most likely say fine, and ask what times will the room be occupied.
*Again, be courteous. Try not to use the room all day. It is their room just as much as it is yours.*
Finally, you don’t want to overwhelm yourself nor your roommate with rules; it should be seen as an expectation that you guys have agreed upon.
You Don’t Have to Be the Best of Friends….
However, you should be cordial. I know plenty of people that had a great roommate their first year of college, and are the best of friends to this day. There are also people I know who did not become best friends with their roommate, and that’s fine as well. What matters most are respect and communication.
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